Yesterday was one of those days where you realize that God has another plan for you than the one you want. Sometimes, that’s just the way it is and has to be. That truly doesn’t make it easy to accept and I will say it is quite the bitter pill for me to swallow right now. I’ve been down this road one too many times and truly it is frustrating and heartbreaking to be two weeks out from my goal. To have endured so much and given so much of my time and energy toward a dream goal and fall short so close really sucks.
You all know I’ve been struggling with pain in my right leg. I knew instinctively it was a femoral stress fracture (round two) and tapered down in hopes of being able to still complete the marathon using intervals if necessary. Heck, I was even willing to walk the darn thing after the injury was confirmed. Maybe even sneak in some run sections, who cares I was still doing it. Unfortunately, yesterday brought the crushing blow to the dream and the plans. Yesterday, I fell on steps at work rushing to a classroom and broke my big toe at the joint on the right foot. Yup, that was my luck.
The funny (half glass full girl here) part of this tale is that my school was in the middle of Day Two of its Quality Review (think audit). When the reviewer, who was in a meeting, heard what happened when I hobbled in to the room she graciously offered to reschedule. Are you kidding me, this lady doesn’t quit or go home until she finishes what she starts. So I got a pair of sneakers out of my closet and gimped my way through the rest of the day. I guess that was my “marathon” experience for this year and likely the reviewer’s first broken bone during a review.
Last night when I finally got home at about 7:00, my husband helped me in the house and I had my ugly cry. I had a tall drink and a personal pity party – heck I am human people. It felt cleansing to me to have this personal time to just let go of all the emotion I’ve tried to work through during this long training cycle. It also prepared me to start planning my journey to 2018.
This morning, many of my running friends have been offering me encouragement and love. For that I am most grateful. Many have shared their personal stories of walking similar walks. Some have stories far worse than mine – there always can be worse things in life. Today, I have to push the button to defer my entry to the NYC Marathon. I tried last night, but that led to the ugly cry and I just couldn’t do it. Today, I will push the button as I know I now must.
For all who are out there towing the line this year, I will be cheering for you all loud and proud. I know the hard work you put in to being there and the joy you will feel when it is DONE. I will envision myself running beside you and see you all next year. #2018NYCM