Category: Don Miguel Ruiz

Svadhyaya – Study of Self

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

The word svadhyaya means to engage in the study of self. It is deep work that seeks to go beyond the mind’s explanation of who we are, to find the true essence of ourselves at our core. It is work that can help us realize who we truly are, through recognizing our habits and thought processes.

Throughout our lives we are guided by voices inside that seem to know right from wrong. Some call this our conscience, others the divine. I call that inner voice our ego as many times we are acting out of a sense of self preservation, proving we are indeed deserving and good enough. I also call it the inner critic, the voice that criticizes, doubts and causes us endless anxiety. We live our entire lives with these conversations going on in our minds, but rarely take the time to study them. It is, however, through engaging in the study of self, we can become more aware of the things we do that harm us, and also those which serve us on our journey to reclaim our health. 

Ways to Engage in Self Study

The practice of svadhyaya requires complete honesty in our reflections when we view ourselves. We need to stand strong throughout this journey, because the work is not always comfortable. We also need to remind ourselves daily to give ourselves grace and not revert to self criticism. As with anything, we are not seeking perfectionism in self study, but rather the freedom that truly knowing ourselves can provide. Here are some basic ways to get started on your study of self:

Being a Witness

This is an important stance to take at the start of our journey. We spend most of our lives reacting to situations without thinking. Being a witness means we take a step outside ourselves, to witness from a nonjudgemental stance. Our work is to notice how we are acting, feeling and what we are thinking. The point right now is just to notice, not judge or seek to change. It helps to write down what you notice so you can begin to see the patterns of you. For example, I noticed that I avoid conflict in my relationships. In looking at how I engage with others, I noticed that when I perceived conflict of any kind, I avoided the relationship. I believe this is done for self preservation, as a way to avoid being hurt, but I am still exploring this pattern.

Reading to Learn

You can choose what you want to read to grow and become more self aware. There is no shortage of great texts to learn from including, scripture, self-help books, websites, podcasts, etc. As you read, or listen, reflect upon how these words and messages resonate with your beliefs and actions. The work is not the reading, but rather the act of reflecting on the messages. The first books I read, back at the beginning of my learning, were The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron. I also read The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young. I joined a women’s book club to grow and learn about new books. I read so many great books over the years as part of this online club. You can check it out here – https://www.badasswomensbookclub.com/

On the Yoga Mat

I’ve found I learn the most about myself on the yoga mat. When I engage in a practice, I witness patterns that parallel how I respond to life situations. For example, when I experience discomfort holding a pose I notice my mind races as it seeks to get me out of that pose. Pigeon pose is one that I am most uncomfortable in and one that I avoid in my practice whenever I can. This avoidance mirrors my avoidance of conflict in relationships as I seek to avoid discomfort. Additionally, when I practice yoga and focus on my breathing, I notice how often I hold my breath, leading me to wonder how my breathing works throughout the day. You will notice all the places that your body is holding tension and begin to unravel those.

These are just a few ways to get started on your journey of self study. I am at the beginning myself, though I’ve practiced yoga for years on and off. I have long focused on the exercise aspect of my yoga practice, but now feel ready to dive into the inner work that comes with it. I hope you will consider joining me on this journey to self.

If you have any questions about this post, or how to get started, please do not hesitate to reach out via email at laurakump@reclaiminghealth.blog, Instagram or in the comment section below. Namaste

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Create Your Story

“The same way that you are the main character of your story, you are only a secondary character in everybody else’s story.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

One of the first teachings Don Miguel Ruiz imparted on me was the understanding that every single human being is an artist, born to create.  The greatest art we each create during our time, is the story of our life. This learning, though profound, took time to come to understand.  My life is really just a story, created by me and told from my perspective. It is not even real, it is merely my version of reality.  In my story, I created the main character of Laura.  Following Miguel’s teachings, this character I have created represents everything I know and changes and evolves as I learn and grow.

My story was initially created as I was growing up.  During that time, everybody had opinions about who I was and who I should be.  My parents, grandparents, teachers and friends all had images of who I was and all wanted something different from me.  Everyone wanted me to be what they thought I should be and as most children do, I tried hard to live up to those ideals.  At some point though, I came to the realization that I had different ideas about who I wanted to be.  It was then that I began to question and challenge the norms and expectations imposed on me.  I grew up in a time of questioning the establishment, so it was not unusual that I would create my story differently from the one created for me by others.

During my schooling years, I was in accelerated classes throughout elementary, middle and high school.  I was a straight A student, weeded out and placed in what today would be labelled a gifted program.  Yet, as a girl, I had to sit through career classes geared toward secretarial work and take cooking and sewing classes to prepare me to be a housewife.  I was for all intents and purposes invisible, never asked to contribute my thoughts about issues, merely asked to memorize and spit back what I learned.  My parents hoped I would attend college like my two brothers before me, but were also saving for my wedding fund.  For all my academic success, I was the most disengaged student, especially in my high school years.  Yes, I maintained a high average and was thought of as the least likely to struggle.  But, I realize now I was just a passenger in someone else’s version of my story.  I never felt engaged or empowered by school, or my studies.  Rather, I took in what was offered passively and gave back what others wanted from me.

When I got to college, I felt something start to shift in me. It was my literature classes, as well as sociology and history that ignited in me desire to take back control of my story.  I was asked to interpret and contribute my thoughts on what I read, to discuss with others in ways we never had before in my previous schooling.  It was then that I found my voice and the main character Laura took a different fork in the road.  You see, Laura was not born to be passive, she was born to be a leader and I alone had the artistic control over the creation of her story.  The shy, passive girl had reclaimed her place as the main character in the story of her life.  No longer would she try to live up to the expectations of others, for she had her own expectations and the ability to work toward living up to those.

Throughout various times in my life, I have lost my way and my realization that I am Laura, the main character of this life.  I have let the opinions of secondary characters impact my thinking and forgot that they are merely the main characters of their own story, not mine.  Now, as I process the loss of my mother, I am revisiting the story of Laura through family photos, letters and memories.  Sometimes, I don’t recognize this character I’ve created.  Sometimes, I still feel the pain of some of the paths she’s walked.  Most days, I wonder, as I reread this story, how much of it would I change, if I could.   But today, I know that all I have is this moment to pick up my pen and begin again adding to the story of Laura, for it is time to begin creating the next chapter.