Svadhyaya – Study of Self

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

The word svadhyaya means to engage in the study of self. It is deep work that seeks to go beyond the mind’s explanation of who we are, to find the true essence of ourselves at our core. It is work that can help us realize who we truly are, through recognizing our habits and thought processes.

Throughout our lives we are guided by voices inside that seem to know right from wrong. Some call this our conscience, others the divine. I call that inner voice our ego as many times we are acting out of a sense of self preservation, proving we are indeed deserving and good enough. I also call it the inner critic, the voice that criticizes, doubts and causes us endless anxiety. We live our entire lives with these conversations going on in our minds, but rarely take the time to study them. It is, however, through engaging in the study of self, we can become more aware of the things we do that harm us, and also those which serve us on our journey to reclaim our health. 

Ways to Engage in Self Study

The practice of svadhyaya requires complete honesty in our reflections when we view ourselves. We need to stand strong throughout this journey, because the work is not always comfortable. We also need to remind ourselves daily to give ourselves grace and not revert to self criticism. As with anything, we are not seeking perfectionism in self study, but rather the freedom that truly knowing ourselves can provide. Here are some basic ways to get started on your study of self:

Being a Witness

This is an important stance to take at the start of our journey. We spend most of our lives reacting to situations without thinking. Being a witness means we take a step outside ourselves, to witness from a nonjudgemental stance. Our work is to notice how we are acting, feeling and what we are thinking. The point right now is just to notice, not judge or seek to change. It helps to write down what you notice so you can begin to see the patterns of you. For example, I noticed that I avoid conflict in my relationships. In looking at how I engage with others, I noticed that when I perceived conflict of any kind, I avoided the relationship. I believe this is done for self preservation, as a way to avoid being hurt, but I am still exploring this pattern.

Reading to Learn

You can choose what you want to read to grow and become more self aware. There is no shortage of great texts to learn from including, scripture, self-help books, websites, podcasts, etc. As you read, or listen, reflect upon how these words and messages resonate with your beliefs and actions. The work is not the reading, but rather the act of reflecting on the messages. The first books I read, back at the beginning of my learning, were The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron. I also read The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young. I joined a women’s book club to grow and learn about new books. I read so many great books over the years as part of this online club. You can check it out here – https://www.badasswomensbookclub.com/

On the Yoga Mat

I’ve found I learn the most about myself on the yoga mat. When I engage in a practice, I witness patterns that parallel how I respond to life situations. For example, when I experience discomfort holding a pose I notice my mind races as it seeks to get me out of that pose. Pigeon pose is one that I am most uncomfortable in and one that I avoid in my practice whenever I can. This avoidance mirrors my avoidance of conflict in relationships as I seek to avoid discomfort. Additionally, when I practice yoga and focus on my breathing, I notice how often I hold my breath, leading me to wonder how my breathing works throughout the day. You will notice all the places that your body is holding tension and begin to unravel those.

These are just a few ways to get started on your journey of self study. I am at the beginning myself, though I’ve practiced yoga for years on and off. I have long focused on the exercise aspect of my yoga practice, but now feel ready to dive into the inner work that comes with it. I hope you will consider joining me on this journey to self.

If you have any questions about this post, or how to get started, please do not hesitate to reach out via email at laurakump@reclaiminghealth.blog, Instagram or in the comment section below. Namaste

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Things I’m Letting Go Of

 “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

— Brené Brown

2023 was quite the year of change for me, not because I wasn’t good enough as I was, but because it was needed to thrive. Fate has a way of getting our attention sometimes and you just know it’s go time. My health was at what I’d describe as my lowest place and it was starting to manifest itself in scary ways. I felt like I was struggling to think clearly and the lack of sleep for months was starting to put my body in a dangerous health space. Having the option to retire, but not feeling it was the right time to do it, fate gave me the clear signal it was time. My husband became ill suddenly in late November 2022 and required surgery. With a 90% blockage in what is called the “widow maker” artery in his heart, I realized just how close we came to losing it all. These life events really make you stop in your tracks.

Realizing just how lucky we were to have gotten through this, I knew it was time to make some changes to my lifestyle choices. My husband was in far better health than I was, or so we thought, so I worried about what was happening inside my body. Following full medical checkups, I began again the journey to reclaim my health. Where in the past, it may have been easy to become derailed, this time I knew the actual stakes involved in making these necessary changes.

2024 will be the continuation of this journey as I continue to focus on learning and growing my knowledge base to improve my choices. I am continuing my focus on self growth and plan to take a deeper dive into my yoga practice starting this month. I am taking a yoga teacher training course to deepen my understanding of Hatha yoga. Self reflection will remain the cornerstone of my work when it comes to life choices and health. With that in mind as I begin 2024, I am reflecting on things I will be letting go and things I will grow. 

Things I Will Be Letting Go Of

  • Making assumptions - I have no way of knowing another’s motives, so I will not engage in trying to.
  • Negative self talk – I am breaking up with my inner critic.
  • Overthinking – I can’t analyze everything
  • Saying no too quickly
  • Alchohol – I never knew just how much it ages me
  • Doing too much – Overdoing just exhausts me and I don’t have to do it all
  • Fear of failure – I don’t have to be perfect all the time to succeed, especially as I try new things

Things I Will Grow

  • Relationships – Continue making new friends and deepen the relationships I have
  • Self Love – Continuing to be kinder to myself through self reflection and meditation walks
  • Saying Yes – Stepping outside the comfort zone and trying new things. Adding to the bucket list.
  • Boundaries – Being more conscious of creating healthy boundaries as I engage in my relationships.
  • Healthy Lifestyle – What can I learn and do to continue on this journey?

These are my thoughts as of today, January 2, 2024. I am sure there are more items I need to reflect on and will grow or revise this list as I go through the year. What can you let go of this year, what can you keep and grow? I’d love to hear about your journey, so feel free to reach out through email at laurakump@reclaiminghealth.blog or comments below. May you have a healthy and happy year of growth in 2024.