I’ve been taking a much needed mental health break these past few weeks, enjoying some down time. I received some bad news from the doctor regarding my injury recovery just prior to Thanksgiving. Hearing the words, degenerative damage, really sent me spiraling. I had been trying to hold on and push through, so hearing those words felt like a gut punch. Ironically, as bad as it was to hear, it was what I needed to move forward.
I’ve really been in a rut this last month. As my recovery time wore on, I became quite frustrated and deflated. I spent a lot of time trying to kick start my motivation and couldn’t quite get anything going. Having been through this before, I recognized that my mental wellness was suffering. While quite common during injury recovery, that should not be underestimated.
My thoughts recently have centered around injury recovery time and mental wellness of athletes. I am not a high level athlete, but I have always enjoyed participating in sporting events and working out. I thrive when I train and engage in these events, physically and mentally. I think it is the structure of training that fuels me. I love to workout for a purpose – i.e., to run longer distances, or run a distance in a shorter time. I strive to lift a heavier weight or to add a set to the lift. Knowing the end goal really pushes me to do the work.
Recently, I had been focused on my performance in pickleball. I’ve been working out at the gym to improve my performance, as well as drilling and playing games. I made steady progress and was truly enjoying the sport. It felt great to be part of the pickleball community. When the injury occurred, I assumed it would be a quick recovery. As the time passed and I still experienced pain, I began to try to navigate my way through.
I’ve come to understand that there is a cycle many athletes go through when recovering from injury. It doesn’t matter what level you are, though I imagine it’s far worse when you are an elite athlete. What matters is that, much grief, there are stages you move through as you work toward recovery. The mental aspect of this process is what I have been focusing on.
I have a competitive personality. I thrive when I am striving to accomplish a goal. I love to figure things out and especially love the learning process of it all. When I was a runner, I wanted to learn everything I could to make me a better runner. Same, in my professional life. I was always striving to learn and grow. My personal identity was strongly tied to my ability to run the distance, or improve my school. With an athlete mindset, I dealt with life through my sport, it is part of who I was. I was a runner, I was a Principal, I was an athlete.
The athletic part of my life became a strong coping mechanism for me, both growing up and as an adult. What a fabulous stress reliever to go out early in the morning for a long run, or workout. I started most of my days with an early morning gym session, run or walk. Therefore, when I get injured, it can feel like a personal threat to my identity. Suddenly, it feels like my life is altered and my routines disrupted. The morning athletic time is no longer an option, leaving me feeling isolated and sad.
I want to share my journey through this injury cycle. I hope it helps anyone else dealing with a similar situation.
Stages of Injury Cycle
Much like grief, there is a cycle people can experience when they experience an injury. Those, like me, who engage in training outside of professional sports, are no exception. The cycles do not necessarily follow a linear order. Instead, we go through them in response to our personal experiences. Here are the stages and my response to each.
1. Denial
The day I sustained the injury, I knew it wasn’t good. But, I thought if I stretched, I would be fine. When stretching did not help, I knew enough to leave the court. I went home and iced my foot, followed by compression and elevation. I thought for sure I’d be fine in the morning. I planned to take the next day off and expected to be ready to play by Saturday. I truly didn’t think it was anything serious. Honestly, I still haven’t canceled my playing commitments. I’m still going week by week, hoping to be back on the court. Denial of the injury is quite common and considered the first step in the recovery process.
2. Anger
As the days went on and turned into weeks, I started to get frustrated. I could barely walk to the corner without feeling pain. I didn’t understand why the pain wasn’t getting better and refused to stop trying to walk. Each day I got angrier about this inconvenience. I was angry at myself for not doing a proper warmup before playing and blamed myself for the injury. I was angry at my body for failing me. I was angry that I was missing so much playing time.
3. Bargaining
At this point, I was desperate to be done with the injury. I decided to rest for a few days and see if that improved my recovery. It was as if I said to my body, I’ll give you a week of rest, then will you heal? I remember thinking I just need to stop exercising entirely. I’ll recover quickly and it’ll be worth it. When that didn’t work out, I’ll admit I was back to anger. That’s what I say the cycles are not experienced in a linear fashion. When my bargain failed, I was right back to being angry. I was thinking, I gave you what you wanted, why are you not doing your part. It is quite frustrating!
4. Depression
Right before Thanksgiving I felt like I was at my lowest. It have been 8 weeks and I still wasn’t feeling better. Every day I had pain and I was ready to just give up. I remember hobbling in to the doctor’s office that morning and telling him I needed help. I shared with him everything I had done to improve and that nothing was working. I said there must be something he could recommend. I was on the verge of tears and said, soon I’ll be chubby and depressed. I will admit he was very patient with me and truly explained things to me. That is when degenerative issues came up. My feet have logged a lot of running miles. Many years of long distance running and training were not kind to my body.
5. Acceptance
This was the lowest point of my journey. I also think it was the moment that slapped sense into me. It felt like there was a moment of clarity for me here. I understood better the timeline and the reality of my injury. I also understood that it was not my fault entirely and I had done nothing wrong. As I drove home from the doctor’s office, I was extremely upset. When I got home, I got my gym bag packed and headed to the gym.
I decided that day, that I had to do something different. I was going down a slippery slope and needed to find something that wouldn’t cause pain. That day, I did something I’d been resisting. I put on my swim suit and got back in the pool to swim laps. I knew that meant I accepted my injury for what it was. I also knew that I still needed something athletic to engage in to improve my mental wellness. Swimming is something I’d done in the past when recovering from tendon repair surgery. I can’t say I love it, but it is very therapeutic and a great workout too.
Next Steps
I am two weeks past the news that this injury is way more than I anticipated. I have created a new schedule for my workouts. I have been able to lift weights throughout the injury, just modifying for anything that puts pressure on the foot. I’ve now added one mile lap swims two days a week. I also tried a Barre class locally and was able to do the class without pain.
My new routine has been so helpful for my mental wellness. I am focused on my recovery and finding ways to engage in movement is an essential component for me. I am now working out again, six days a week with one full day of rest. I started dry needling at the doctor’s recommendation. It is a bit painful, but I do feel it is helping.
My best advice is to find solace in setting new goals and focusing on other areas of your life. Injury recovery is tough, especially when you are used to being highly active. It is hard to accept that you are not able to just push through. Take that energy and use it to fuel your recovery. For me, setting new goals and focusing on other ways to move has been a lifeline.
I would be very interested to hear about your journey with injury. What have you found helped you the most? Please share in the comment section below, via email at laurakump@reclaiminghealth.blog, or on Instagram.

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