Today my childhood friend and I are returning to our home town to run a 10k race together. We’ve done races together before, but this one back on our home turf should be memorable. I’m always excited to be with her and catch up on those carefree days. There will be running, laughing and of course a beer. I’m sure there will also be the dreaded pictures. I will try to find one of us as kids and share with one from today. I will keep sharing my pictures to document my life, as well to keep myself on track on this journey.
Last night I had a work function for our students. I got dressed in a comfortable outfit that upon inspection in the mirror looked cute. Actually it was even a little loose on top making me feel good about the work I’m doing. The event included some pictures with my staff. When I saw one, I saw myself as heavy and got discouraged. What was this. Does my mirror lie? Or, am I wearing rose colored glasses. Was it just the picture? Here’s where the mind starts taking over and beating me up. One of the other ladies in the group and I were laughing. She was saying the same things, but said she was planning to hang it up as her before photo. Haha, I said, the problem here is this is my after. It’s so easy in those moments to get discouraged and I did. I’m working so very hard. Running 4-5 days a week on my training program. Working out other days as well. Watching my intake of foods for the most part. How can it be that I still appeared so heavy in that darn picture?
In the past, here is actually where I would get off track and spiral down. The mind would start saying, why bother. It’s not worth all this work if nothing changes. But then I remember, it’s just one darn picture. I am willing to stay the course, do the work and I will get there. You see, it’s not enough to simply want this to work, you’ve got to do the work. And there will be crappy days and crappy pictures. But for every crappy day and crappy picture, there will also be good ones. Today will be my good day and I am going to do the work. I am going to continue to do the work until I am satisfied and then I’m going to continue to do the work because I want to stay satisfied.
Everyone takes photographs that they hate. In fact, most people look at pictures and hate the way they look. Even famous stars have bad photographs. We even see them in magazines and on the Internet. Does that make them less beautiful? We’ve got to stop being so very hard on ourselves, me included.
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2 thoughts on “Mind Over Body”
I never like myself in photos and even when I look in the mirror and feel good, I can still easily let one photo ruin my day or evening. I also have to remind myself that my body naturally changes and fluctuates depending on what and when I have eaten, how much sleep/fluid I have had, my menstrual cycle… I am slowly learning to accept my body and not let a bloated day, or a bad photo derail me. It’s good that you are not letting this set you back.
Yes one picture can derail the night. Trying to stay out of my head.