Tag: alzheimer

Feedback

Today was my long run and boy was it hot out there on the roads.  This was my longest run on the schedule so far and it provided me plenty of time to think.  The focus of the run was time on my feet, so two hours and forty minutes was on the plan.  This run wasn’t about pace, but rather mental toughness and stamina.

When I run, I always think about the training plan I’m using and the parallels it has to education.  Yes, educators think about things education when they run, shocking I know.  This past week, I was sharing with my colleague some of the parallels I’m seeing between my running plan and teaching.  Today, I was framing out this week’s blog in my mind and decided to share my thoughts on the connections between being #coachedandloved and teaching.

Many of you know by now I’m training for a half marathon in October and hopefully the full NYC Marathon in 2017.  What you may not know is that I’ve been training for this half for years.  This is my third attempt to get there, so nobody can say I’m not persistent.  Twice before I’ve tried to get there and twice before I’ve crashed and burned.  This time, I was determined to make it so I decided to try something different.  I decided to join a running group and work with a coach.  Best darn decision I ever made and best darn money I ever spent.  I have learned so much about myself, running and yes, even education.

When I first started working with Coach MK, I was speaking to her about my history.  I then launched into the usual self doubt that maybe I’m just not cut out to run a half.  Maybe I’m too old, too physically unfit, all the usual self deprecation.  Well she cut me right off and actually yelled at me.  She said stuff like, “Don’t you dare start with that crap.  What would you tell a kid in your school that said this stuff?   How dare you quit on me before we even started working together.  You haven’t even tried and you’re already giving up?”  And on it went.  She was definitely NOT taking any of my whining, or any of my excuses not to try. Man, she was really going to make me do this.  In connecting this to education, I’d call her approach – high expectations for all learners.  There was absolutely not one moment that this coach didn’t believe I could do it and she told me so.  She was not going to dummy down the curriculum for me, or let me have a pass.  She was going to make me work my butt off to get there or die trying.  She was firm, but I wasn’t put off by it.  I was motivated to get out there and try again, most likely because I knew she believed in me.

Then, I started following the plan she laid out for me.  She wanted me to run within a heart rate target cap of 140.  When I went out the first day, I got to my corner and I was already above 140.  WTF is going on here?  I remember walking most of that first run.  This isn’t running I thought, this is ridiculous.  How in the world is walking going to help me finish a half marathon in twenty weeks?  Why is my heart rate so darn uncooperative?  And, I can’t wait to get home to complain to her about this.  This isn’t going to work!  There’s no way I can slow down to go faster.  Ridiculous.  Connecting to education, so many of our teachers feel the pressure of racing through curriculum to fit it all into the ten month time span.  There is hardly time to slow down because they feel they have to cram it all into their students heads.  After all, they are responsible for “covering” the curriculum.  Teach, teach, teach and teach.  But what about the kids?  Are they on the path to learn?  Or, are they on the path to crash and burn like I did?  I’d say many are on the path to crash and burn because there is no way they can deeply learn all that stuff in the short span of ten months.  Well, not in a meaningful way that would allow them to apply it to new situations.

I remember calling Coach MK again and saying this isn’t going to work.  There’s no way I can walk to improve my running.  She explained to me the reasons it would work.  The reasons were based in scientific research and had proven results with many runners.  You see, by pushing my body to do things it wasn’t ready to do I was harming myself not helping myself.  This explained my constant state of injury.  I needed to work within this heart rate cap to build my foundation for running.  I needed to run in the “just right” zone for my heart and my body, not run in some preconceived notion of what it should be.  I needed to develop my heart and muscles and aerobic systems.  The connection of this one to education is simple, kids need to be doing work that is on their level at that moment in time.  Reading text that is too complex, or attempting to complete work that is too hard will not benefit students.  They need to develop their reading brains and other muscles.  If they don’t, they will not make progress and could likely give up.

During these past fifteen weeks, my coach has supported me in many ways.  I have worked on my stamina, endurance, strength and mental toughness.  She didn’t dump all that stuff on me, direct teach me up front, or talk at me.  Rather, she gave me a plan to follow for twenty weeks and set up a system in which she’d provide me feedback.  She set up a learning community of runners and gave us a space to ask questions.  Boy did we all have a lot of questions!  Each question provided more information about our bodies and this journey.  Had she told us all this stuff upfront, I’d likely not remember any of it.  But because I got the information as I needed it, it resonated with me and I can teach it to others.  For example, the first time I asked why my legs felt heavy when I run sometimes we had the nutrition talk.  Fueling? You mean the fact that I hate vegetables has an impact on my running?  Seriously, I’ve been to many nutritionists and none of them got me to eat vegetables.  But as soon as I realized it was causing me to struggle with running I began eating more of them.  When my heart rate was spiking and we had the sleep talk I realized how everything was impacting my performance.  This is the critical shift I’ve been trying to get at work – responsive teaching.  Teaching kids what they need to move forward not when it’s on your map, but when they need it.  Not an easy shift, but one that would totally change the level of impact you have on your students.  I’m living proof!  Teaching children to ask questions and seek answers.  But not narrow the focus of those questions to just the immediate task they are performing.  Teach them to ask big questions, questions of which the answers will propel them forward.  Create a plan for learning and set them out on their own a bit.  Provide tons of feedback and then more feedback and they will improve.

Finally, I’m learning a lot about myself with the goal of being more in tune with what my body needs to perform.  Why don’t we teach children to be more reflective?  Why don’t we give them the skills they need to learn?  It would be far more effective than trying to just teach them the things we know.  Slow down, set up learning plans for them and allow them to muddle through.  Provide them feedback on their progress and answer their questions about the process.  My coach doesn’t run with me ever.  I’m out there alone trudging along, yet I haven’t missed a single run.  She set up my plan and I follow it independently, asking questions and getting information on a need to know basis.  I truly believe there is a strong parallel here to teaching with common core learning standards.  I’ll continue to reflect on this during my runs this week.

 

Fall Back

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, the song associated with September and back to school time.  As a school Principal, I am blessed that in September my empty building once again is filled with the joyful sounds of children.  Those empty halls will be bustling again with the business of learning.

Unfortunately, another change to come is the amount of daylight I’ll have.  Soon my morning runs will be devoid of light and drowning in darkness.  Not much that can be done to change that.  In the past  I would very shortly begin skipping my workouts and huddling under those warm covers promising to workout after work.    But, alas that workout never seemed to happen.  Just because summer is over doesn’t mean my active lifestyle has to end.  It truly doesn’t have to be that way.

Make a pact today with yourself that you will continue on this journey.  I have already done so.  Don’t let those excuses creep back in and sidetrack you.   You know the excuses well, as do I.  Let’s take a look at the biggest ones and set up a plan to offset them.

First, I don’t have time anymore now that I’m back in a full schedule.  Well, there are 168 hours in a week.  You work 40 and sleep an average of 56, if you’re lucky.    That leaves about 72 hours.  Now, is it really true you have no time to keep exercising?   I work out at least one hour a day six days a week.  That’s only 6 hours a week minimum, which leaves me with 66 glorious hours to do whatever I want or need to do.

The second and probably the most common excuse is, I don’t have the energy to workout.   Well, first of all working out increases your energy levels so please don’t quit or you’ll have even less!

The absolute best way to offset both of these excuses is to do your workouts first thing in the morning.  This truly works, trust me.  Your energy levels are at their highest in the morning, especially if you’ve slept well (I wish).  You’ll feel energized to face your day and you won’t be drained from a full day of work.  Anytime I tried to workout after work it just didn’t happen.  I was way too tired and just wanted to get home to eat and relax.   Put your workout on your calendar and set that alarm.   After the first three weeks it will be your new habit.

I workout every morning by myself.  It’s a habit I will not give up.  I’m not going to lie and say it’s always easy.  It’s a commitment to myself that I’ve made.  With the dark mornings and possible bad weather coming I will double down my efforts to stay on track.   I hope you’ll do the same.

 

 

Delayed Gratification

We live in a world that’s moving so fast.  Anything we want is right there at our fingertips.  If you buy something on Amazon, and you can buy anything there, chances are you may receive it that same day.  People have become so accustomed to getting what they want in this buy now, pay later world.

Everything is also disposable.  When I was growing up families had one car.  Generally they kept it until it didn’t run anymore.  The only phone we had was on the wall in our kitchen and it had a rotary dial and a wire.  We had one television in the house in the living room.  Nowadays, cars are changed like underwear and almost every person has their own cellphone.  Appliances and TVs are replaced every other year.

With all this, it’s no surprise that I fell victim to this – I want it and I want it now mentality.  Click I buy a book, click my groceries are coming, click a new pair of shoes and on and on it goes.

When I signed up for coaching for my half marathon, the coach talked to me about running in certain heart rate zones.  She said I’d need to stay under 140 initially.  Ha, half a block from my house I was at that.  She said progress would come over time.  I’d have to trust the plan and put in the work and in twenty weeks I’d see growth and run my race.  Twenty weeks!!!!  Isn’t there a click or app for that??

Well, this morning on my long run I had lots of time to reflect on this journey.  I’m in week 13 and running 10 miles.  Darn she was right. Putting in the work and trusting the process had paid off.  This all made me wonder when I stopped believing that.

I was raised  on hard work pays off. I worked my butt off as did my husband to raise our three kids.  Why then when it came to my health was I always looking for the quick fix.  I knew in my heart you had to put the work in, but it was so much easier to seek the magic fix, or worse quit when it got hard.

This morning I realized it’s about delayed gratification.  The ability to delay gratification until the work is done is critical to perseverance.  Trusting that if you put the effort and work in, over time you will see results.  I’m not talking miracles, I’m talking results.  So for me today, I finally cracked 10 miles.   It wasn’t fast or beautiful but I did it.  This week my nutritional choices were on par and I felt stronger out there.  My scale hasn’t shown tremendous losses, but I’m feeling healthier.  This work is paying off.

I’m not going to say it’s easy.  It’s definitely not.  When I’m running slowly and someone speeds by, I want to say forget this heart rate and take off.  When someone offers me pizza for lunch and I want it now, but know I just had it for dinner last night, I have to dig in and say no thank you.  I have to stay the course and in time I’ll reach my goals.

I’m definitely in it for the long haul.  If I want to see changes I’ve got to put in the work.  Hope you’ll join me.  I’ve got a feeling it will be so worth it.

I Got This

Everybody wants a best friend, someone to talk them through the challenges life throws at them.  On my early run today, I found myself wishing there was someone there beside me to talk to,  especially  when my foot started to hurt.  Then I realized there was someone and  in fact there always is.  I was there.  I realized I could be my own best friend and face this challenge.

Now, if I’m being honest, I’m not always very kind to myself.  In fact, I’m often my own worst critic.  I’m very self-deprecating and can be very mean to myself at times.  I’m sure I’m not alone in that.  How many times have you chided yourself for being too fat, too pale, too slow or any other put down that came to mind in the moment?

I’ve spent a lot of time these past weeks watching the Olympic Games in Rio.  I’ve noticed many of those athletes deep in thought prior to their performances.  Some were even talking to themselves.  I’m sure they weren’t telling themselves everything that was wrong at that critical moment.  Rather than putting themselves down, they were lifting themselves up.   There’s that mind shift again! These athletes were behaving as if they were their own best friend.  They were using positive self talk to mentally prepare themselves for the challenge ahead.

Lauren Hernandez was observed many times saying, I’ve got this before performing.   And she surely did!  Lauren did not stand there and say I’m not better than Simone.  Nope, she used positive self talk and worked her way to winning medals.  In fact, she was amazing.   I also saw many runners preparing for the start of their race using self talk.

Research has proven that positive self talk can build one’s confidence and motivation.   With so many others in this world seeking to put us down, why do we do it to ourselves?   We need to shift or self talk and move away from the negative.  It’s time to become our own best friend.  I’m going to practice this strategy starting now.  No more putting myself down, or filling my head with all the things I feel I’m lacking in.  From now on,  I’m going to use positive self talk and support myself on my journey to health.   Next time I lace up those running shoes, which is tomorrow; rather than worry about it, I’m simply going to say, I’ve got this!  Then, I’ll take several deep breaths and go get it done.

 

Progress Check

Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break.  We are always so hard on ourselves when it comes to health and beauty.  So many people rely only on the scale to gauge success. I believe we need to find others ways to check in, especially if you’re feeling less than satisfied.  Don’t give up, just change your perspective and your measuring stick.

They say absence helps you to better see the changes in people.  Aging, weight loss and other life changes are more noticeable when you don’t see someone everyday.  This same principle applies to our own reflection in the mirror.

It’s always good to document your journey to health.  Weighing in is just one way to do this.   Measurements are another.   But the one which gives the most visual support is documenting your journey with photographs.

My friend mentioned to me the other day that she sees a difference in me from June to now.   I decided to look at some photographs and see if I too see a difference.

This first pair shows me in May and August of this year.  I actually do think I look healthier in August than I did in May.

The dreaded bathing suit photographs.   The green suit was taken last July and the pink suit is from this July.   I definitely see the progress here and even feel I’m walking more confidently in this year’s picture.  Who knows, maybe next year I’ll rock a bikini.

Finally, below are close ups of my bottom half.   I’ve always carried my weight here like many women do.  The first shot is from a race I ran in May of this year.   The second shot is from this July.   Only two months between these pictures and I see a big difference.   That slow heart rate running is sure helping tone up my legs.  Thanks Coach MK. #winningatlife

It is important to measure your progress on more than just the scale.   The scale often leaves me sad and frustrated.   These photograph comparisons leave me hopeful and motivated.

How about you?   How do you measure your progress?  If you’ve been stuck in a rut, dig out some photographs and hopefully find something to smile about.

 

Weeds

image Somewhere along the line these little Dandelions were classified as weeds. Perhaps they didn’t live up to the beauty standards of flowers.  They are often pulled, poisoned and much effort is put forth trying to rid lawns and gardens of them.  But I pass these particular Dandelions every morning on my run.  I’m always touched by their beauty and personally I love yellow flowers.  There’s just something about yellow.  Many people also eat Dandelion greens and marvel in their taste.  My horses always loved eating Dandelions and I love how they looked out in the pasture.

All this got me wondering who decides that something is not beautiful and therefore banished from the flower world.  And who decides if we fit in the beautiful category?  In my opinion, there shouldn’t be a standard we have to live up to.  Beauty should, as they say, be in the eyes of the beholder.  But we all know this is not the case.  We all know there are standards for us, just as there are for the Dandelion.  We have to be a certain weight, or we are considered fat.  We have to have a certain look to us, or we are considered plain, or ugly.  It’s so sad that someone else gets to decide for us what represents beauty.  Me, I’ve decided to take back that power and make my own decisions about my beauty.  Only I get to decide how I look and feel and I do not have to please anyone but myself.

My whole life I have always blown out my hair whenever I washed it.  I have very fine, straight hair and I believed the only way to get any body to it was to blow it out.  When I was a teen, I remember my mom telling me I was going to be bald because I would wash and dry my hair three times a day.  My daughter has similar hair to me and she never blow dries her hair.  We had a conversation about this during our week at the beach.  I never blow out my hair when we are down at the beach.  Funny thing is it either looks the same, or better.  Imagine that.  Why in the world am I spending an extra half hour a day on this hair when it looks the same without that effort.  Probably because I was trying to live up to some beauty standard I set that said I needed to have lots of body in my hair.  It’s been a life long struggle trying to make my hair something it’s not.  Countless perms and body waves and tons of hair spray used in the process.  Well, since we’ve returned from the beach, I’ve only blown out my hair twice.  Once to go out to dinner and once to go to a meeting.  I’ve decided that I really do not need to put the effort in because my hair looks just the same even if I don’t.

Another area to think about is makeup.  My mom was a very vain woman who believed you never went anywhere without putting on your “face”.  When she had eye surgery, I remember her putting on her one eye “face”.  Now she’s in a nursing home and never has on her “face” and guess what.  Her face looks just as beautiful as it did with the make up.  Perhaps it looks better at times because it’s her beautiful, natural face.  I was never a big make up person.  I’m truly not a girly, girl but I did put on mascara every day.  I have such light eyelashes that without it it looks like I have none.  But I’ve begun to even cut back on that. The only person who notices that I have mascara on is me.  I’ve been going out without it and nobody notices any difference.  Again, I had set this beauty standard based on society’s expectations and was a slave to ensuring I had long, visible lashes.

How wonderful it is to have this new routine.  I’m no longer sweating, drying my hair and feeling my skin all sticky from makeup.  The only comments I’ve received are, you look like a teenager and you have great skin.  The reality is when we look in the mirror we see what we think is looking back at us.  That is not the reflection the rest of the world sees.  If you asked three people to describe one person, you’d see what I mean.  Everyone brings their perspective of us to the description.  Their perspective of us, the entire being, forms their perspective of how beautiful we are.  You know this is true.  Think about it.  Haven’t you ever in your life thought of someone as attractive, then gotten to know them and realized they weren’t as attractive as you thought.  Especially, if they are lacking in personality or kindness.

The point I’m trying to make is we have to be comfortable with who we are.  God made us just the way he wanted us to be.  We are created in his image and likeness – beautiful.  I believe there is nothing more beautiful than someone who is comfortable in their own skin.  They seem to radiate beauty and confidence.  It’s time to get out of our heads.  Do not let society’s standards be your standards.  Set your own standard for how you want to look and feel and then be confident and comfortable in that skin.  Stop living your life for someone else’s expectations.  Dare to be beautiful in your own right, just like the beautiful Dandelions you see everywhere.  Embrace your beauty and you will surely be beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Life Change

My very first blog post spoke of my reasons for being on this journey. This journey is clearly much more than about just losing weight. Sure, that’s one of the benefits of it all, but it never has never been my sole intention. There is so much at stake and life is far too short to stay on the surface.  Many of you know that I am an Elementary School Principal. One of my passions, besides getting healthy, has always been reading and learning. I spend a lot of time reading and some of the books that I love are about personal growth. In order to win at life, you need to address your whole being, spending equal time developing yourself physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Many times when we embark on these health journeys, we put a heavy emphasis on the physical component of it. We exercise constantly and see some results. We continue to exercise, but often begin to lose our motivation. We blame lack of weight loss, sore muscles, lack of time or just plain boredom with the routines. The reality is, aside from making exercise a daily habit, until you change your mindset you are likely going to give up. When I first walked into a yoga studio many years ago, I was immediately in love with the fact that it addressed my emotions. There were workshops, readings and just about anything you needed to grow spiritually and emotionally. Coupled with the physicality of the yoga practice, it was truly a life changing experience for me. Yoga really helped me to realize why I had failed so many times before.  It helped me to drill down and reexamine the way I was approaching this path I am on.

One of the first books recommended to me by my yoga teacher is still one of my favorites. It has lessons that reach far beyond the walls of the studio.   Feeding my mind with activities like reading this book, listening to educational podcasts, or taking time to run in the early light of morning have helped me in so many ways.  This book in particular has been one that I think of often in my day to day life.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

Inside the pages of this book are four life lessons that we all can draw upon in our daily lives.  Now especially, with our world in constant turmoil, with tensions running so high, I find myself relying on it heavily.  The four agreements are –

  1. Speak with Integrity – Your word is everything!  Say only what you mean and avoid negative self talk and gossip.  Use your words to speak the truth and of love.
  2. Don’t Take Anything Personally -Remember always that nothing others say or do is because of you, it is really a projection of their own reality.  Be immune to the opinions and actions of others and you will avoid much suffering.
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions – Do your research before you make an assumption about someone or something.  When in doubt save your energy and don’t worry about it.  Ask and be direct rather than fretting and worrying about things. Be sure.
  4. Always Do Your Best – Under any and all circumstances do your best each and every day.  Yes, your best will vary depending on the situation, but do the best you can at all times and you will never be full of self regret.

You can surely see how these four agreements are about way more than yoga.  I use them in my daily life and often at work.  They really are about making a mindset shift and approaching life from a position of self love and positivity.

The second book I read, more recently, was one that I am still processing.  I liked it because the author brought in spirituality and I believe that is another important piece of the package.  Surprisingly, he is talking about Christian principles in the book and there were several quotes from the Bible.

40 Days to Personal Revolution

This book was used in a course I took with the same title at a yoga studio.  We worked on looking at how our past events shaped the person we are today.  We made peace with any unresolved issues and learned principles to help us become stronger emotionally.  Baron Baptiste—one of the world’s most beloved master yoga teachers—inspired us to transform more than body and mind: He gave us the tools we need to set ourselves free to live the healthful life we’ve always imagined.  Each week included:

-A yoga practice to do every morning
-Principles to cleanse your diet along with eating plan
-Instructions to begin and deepen a meditation practice
-Excavation questions to root out limiting beliefs and patterns

This one was a bit deeper than the Four Agreements, and as I said I’m still processing it all. It’s one you’ll want to read and reread as you grow and learn.  It will challenge the way you think about yourself for sure.  I have not been able to develop a meditation practice as of yet.  I just don’t have the ability to sit quietly.  Perhaps someday that will come.

I hope you’ll think about your own personal growth.  Don’t make exercise and diet all about weight loss.  Make it a journey of self discovery.  You will truly be amazed at what you are capable of when you address your entire being.  I’d love to hear about the books you’ve found life changing.  Please feel free to share in the comments.

 

Power of Mindset

This week we focused on mental toughness in running.   Anyone who has run on a day like today, or pushed themselves to do more than they thought they ever could, has inevitably tapped in to their inner mental toughness.

We have all experienced times where we dig in and get something done despite not wanting to, or feeling capable of.  That goes for way more than just exercise and running. It could have been learning to do something and struggling through the many failed attempts.  For me, learning a second language proves insurmountable most days.   Or, it could be as simple as passing up on the second helping, or the dessert.  Whatever the challenge was, what pulled us through was our mental toughness.

In order to work on our mental toughness, we need to address our mindsets. Now this is funny to me because at school that’s all we work on.  Why had I never fully connected it to this journey then?  Yes, I did think of things like, I can’t run a marathon “yet”, but I never fully tapped in to the full power of mindset on my health and wellness.

In the past, I primarily lived with thoughts of all the things I couldn’t do well.  My mindset was a well developed negative one.  Negativity permeated every inch of my inner dialogue.  I couldn’t run as fast as my friends, I couldn’t run without experiencing  pain in my ankles and feet afterwards and I couldn’t lose weight as fast as others could.  When asked to slow down my heart rate during runs, I whined about how slow I had to run and called it slogging (slow jogging).  Listening to this week’s podcasts reminded me that my power to succeed resides in my mindset.  It is the single most important tool I have to face this challenge.  I have to dig in and do the hard work in order to be a better runner.  There’s just no way around it.  Avoiding it is what got me to the place I’m at right now, injured and recovering.  There are no shortcuts here.

I’ve begun shifting my thoughts and tapping in to focus on all the things I can do.  Today, in ridiculous humidity, I was able to maintain a steady pace at 139 bpm without having to slow down or speed up for 75 minutes.  Today, I was able to run one of my miles at a 14 minute pace and keep my heart rate at 139 in extremely hot conditions.  Today, my run was up in pace from the last few.  Today, I filled my head with all the things that were going well and I felt myself growing taller.  It really was that simple.

I’m kind of embarrassed that I, an educator who preaches about this stuff to anyone who will listen, failed to apply it to my greatest challenge, healthy living.  I guess it’s like the shoemaker who has no shoes, or the mechanic who drives a clunker.  We often forget to take care of ourselves along the way. I’m so thankful my coach reminded me of what I know to be true and shifted my thinking.

Going forward, I’m going to consciously stay focused on things I am doing well and celebrate my small victories along the way.  When I wake up each morning, I’m going to allow myself some white space to rest, relax and think about all the things that are going well in my life.  Then, I’ll get up and out to face my day.  It is my belief that one small positive thought will change my whole day.  My running coach has a saying, she says that when we get what we need in life, we are #winningatlife.  Today, I feel as if I am doing just that.

 

Patience is a Virtue, Right?

This week I had four graduations at my school and an end term party.  Four speeches to be made, four outfits to plan and four days of food temptations to get through.  I think I fared pretty well.  I avoided the cake this year at all four ceremonies, though I did taste the frosting.  Girl must taste the frosting in life.  I went to two lunch celebrations with my staff following the ceremonies.  I fared pretty well there too, though I absolutely ate a piece of bread and butter both days.  Girls must eat bread and butter when in a restaraunt.  The end term party food wasn’t great so I fared well there too, though I absolutely indulged in some vodka on the rocks. Girl must live, laugh and sip vodka at parties.  I didn’t totally through caution to the wind this week, rather I tried to keep it real and keep control of myself.  It wasn’t hard to do and allowing myself those little indulgences went miles towards getting through not feeling deprived.  Last year I would have indulged a lot more.  I would have had cake and lunch and wine each of the four days.

The only bad thing about this week was all the pictures I had to pose for.  Thankfully I won’t see many of them and thankfully the children next to me are the real star of them.  I know I’m stuck on pictures lately, but putting it down here gets it out of my head.  Plus, so many of you have shared you’re struggling with them too.  It’s just that the darn pictures make me feel like I’m still at the starting point, the “before” phase of this journey.  They are a constant reminder that I’ve miles to go yet. But I’ve been smiling proudly and clicking away.  I’m documenting my journey and life and refuse to be absent again.

At yesterday’s graduation I saw the parent of one of my students.  Last I saw her, earlier this year she was super thin and had lost almost 60 pounds.  Yesterday, she was right back up to her starting weight. It saddened me to see that, but also reminded me that I am not back at the start.  It reminded me why I am taking the slow and steady route to health. It didn’t take me a week to gain the weight and create havoc on my health and it won’t take me a month to get healthy.  This is a journey and I’m in it for the long haul.

During my speech yesterday, I spoke about the measure of moments in a year.  If I had to capture the moments of my year I’d say:

*I began running again and kept at it despite a serious stress fracture.

*I only gained about ten pounds during recovery from said stress fracture.  I worked out in a chair during the crutches period to keep in the game.

*I rekindled and formed friendships through running and that are priceless.  My childhood friend and maid of honor at my wedding and I were always in touch and always said we’d get together, but life always had other plans.  Now we have races together and with meetings and weekends away built in. Big win-win!

*I overhauled the way I eat.  It’s far from perfect but it’s an improvement.  A great benefit beside my health, my daughter is willing to eat things she would never have tried before.

*I got off three medications and unnecessary supplements.

So, while I’m not moving those blue marbles to the lost jar permanently, the process is working.  If I’m still in it I’m winning.  Patience is a virtue, right?

 

Mind Over Body

Today my childhood friend and I are returning to our home town to run a 10k race together.  We’ve done races together before, but this one back on our home turf should be memorable.  I’m always excited to be with her and catch up on those carefree days.  There will be running, laughing and of course a beer.  I’m sure there will also be the dreaded pictures.  I will try to find one of us as kids and share with one from today.  I will keep sharing my pictures to document my life, as well to keep myself on track on this journey.

Last night I had a work function for our students.  I got dressed in a comfortable outfit that upon inspection in the mirror looked cute.  Actually it was even a little loose on top making me feel good about the work I’m doing.  The event included some pictures with my staff.  When I saw one, I saw myself as heavy and got discouraged.  What was this.  Does my mirror lie? Or, am I wearing rose colored glasses.  Was it just the picture?  Here’s where the mind starts taking over and beating me up.  One of the other ladies in the group and I were laughing.  She was saying the same things, but said she was planning to hang it up as her before photo.  Haha, I said, the problem here is this is my after.  It’s so easy in those moments to get discouraged and I did.  I’m working so very hard.  Running 4-5 days a week on my training program.  Working out other days as well.  Watching my intake of foods for the most part.  How can it be that I still appeared so heavy in that darn picture?

In the past, here is actually where I would get off track and spiral down.  The mind would start saying, why bother.  It’s not worth all this work if nothing changes.  But then I remember, it’s just one darn picture.  I am willing to stay the course, do the work and I will get there.  You see, it’s not enough to simply want this to work, you’ve got to do the work.  And there will be crappy days and crappy pictures.  But for every crappy day and crappy picture, there will also be good ones.  Today will be my good day and I am going to do the work.  I am going to continue to do the work until I am satisfied and then I’m going to continue to do the work because I want to stay satisfied.

Everyone takes photographs that they hate.  In fact, most people look at pictures and hate the way they look.  Even famous stars have bad photographs.  We even see them in magazines and on the Internet.  Does that make them less beautiful?  We’ve got to stop being so very hard on ourselves, me included.

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